Imagine: Adopted at 6 months old and reunited with her Birth Mother 82 years later. Let that sink in for a minute……
I came across this article and it brought a lump to my throat. How amazing is this!? She never quit for 50 years of searching…now THAT is determination and I am choked imagining how long I would have gone on until I reached my goal.
How resilient you are will determine how long you are prepared to turn up every stone, get knocked back and be put off the scent. Not to mention deflect negativity from loved ones.
I was lucky in the time scheme of things but you might not be so fortunate to have the tools at hand to find your birth family?
Recently I have considered many things I want to change in 2017. I know we all do it, make resolutions we know in our hearts we wont keep…lose weight, pass on the second glass of wine, not allow others to sway our decisions etc etc. We try and usually fail to keep to these promises made to ourselves.
All I have decided is that my immediate family is the most precious aspect of my life. Closely followed by my true valued friends who have mopped me up, propped me up and generally rallied when I have needed them most. I owe them so much and they know who they are and know that I adore them from the depths of my soul. Without true honest support whats the point?
Trust in your ability to find your birth family….it will add a precious dimension to your life in ways you cannot measure or even easily explain. Seems unfair to assume that your life is incomplete until you do find your Birth Mother ..That implies that for over 40 years I have had something missing which I haven’t. It simply means that the missing piece of the history jigsaw is slotted into place, not that you are completed as such. That’s not to say it doesn’t feel amazing, because is certainly does and I know going forward I have a level of support from the past I hold very dear.
By way of example: I now know where and who I came from, how I came about and how life could have been had adoption not been the option for my life.
I also know that, without prejudice, I am thankful to know all I need to know about those characters from my history book. From this knowledge you form a judgement and so a decision as to who to carry forward into the next chapter in your life’s story book . My full brother is known to me and shows as much (very little) interest in me or my life and that’s perfect. Sharing 100% DNA does not make him a brother. I share 0% DNA with the two special men in my life who bear the title Brother. My half sister shares 50% of my genetic makeup and that’s were it ends. We crossed paths, enjoyed an early sister type romance then clashed. Not unusual for sisters I suspect but we are not sisters , we shared the warmth of our birth mothers’ bosom for a short time and then , at different times were given up for our own sake. This to me was the right thing to do. To her? Not so much.
This fundamental difference of opinion highlighted to me just how hard developing a relationship with her was going to be, so I took a step back. I am at peace with all the facets of my identity and its sad that she clearly is not and my ‘togetherness’ seemed to fan an already flickering flame into something of an emotional inferno. …Not one to walk away without trying to fix it , this caused me some pain but you know what from pain comes strength and for me I don’t regret connecting with her.
As for my Birth Mother, she is a huge part of my world and the thought of finding her almost at the end of her life, makes my eyes tear up. Its hard enough knowing she is wistful over what she views as the ‘missing years’ Not how I see it but she certainly does. Imagine knowing that time is so limited that you have to cram in everything you want to say or share in a really short time.
This Birth mother says she thought of her daughter often and never forgot her. I guess its my curiosity speaking here ….The question it raises for me is this. The tools to search for their long lost family were at everyone’s disposal. Did the sisters try to find HER for their Mothers sake? A wonderful article and you should read it . As an adoptee who searched and found her BM I think its tragic that it took all those 50 long years. Did the mother even tell her other children? It strikes me that perhaps the daughters could have looked for their sister out of their own sense of curiosity too. Seems sad that such a one sided search bore fruit but with so little time left?
Anyway, enjoy this moving reunion courtesy of Utube and then read the whole piece below using the link.
Thanks for reading …
Read the whole article here…