Always Learning…

Just a quick note and shout out to a bright bunch of students embarking on a History & Geneology project. These guys came across my blog and are super flattering. Thankfully they found my resources useful in their project and shared a page with me which may prove invaluable to you to..

History at home genealogy guide-
https://www.homeadvisor.com/r/guide-to-genealogy/

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I am certain this will prove invaluable in helping people search birth relatives and long lost family….global search is often necessary as families over generations spread far and wide. I think this is a useful resource if family members travelled over time.

Thanks Mia and Sabrina, you are welcome to pick my brains anytime and I may need to pick yours too!

Best Wishes to all

Black Sheep xxx

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Brace Yourselves…I’m Back!

OMG its nearly Easter!! and a year since life was turned upside down by a small person in ways you would never believe….

Black Sheep says Thanksfor your Patience with me……

OK so I am well aware I’ve been a crap absent blogger for some time …However I have a number of very valid excuses and so much to catch up on! To say the last year or so has been another roller coaster is an understatement…so brace yourself for some more revelations and hilarious antics of my bonkers life!

In the meantime while I get my chickens in a row I want to share with you a well known poem that popped into my head this week. It pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now too so I hope you enjoy it….

Legacy Of an Adopted Child….Author Unknown

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.

Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

One gave you up –
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age-old question
Through the years:

Heredity or environment
Which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling – neither,
Just two different kinds of love.

– Author Unknown

I’ll be back soon…

Lots of Love

Black Sheep xxx

Wearing the Smile

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xxx

Being Appreciated – A New Search

This is just a quickie..no pun intended…I’m embarking on yet another journey…the current one in full swing of course and I will document that one when the time is right…

As is my way I need to add to my life load with more extra curricular so alongside being a Mummy to a tiny tot again (that in itself proving a full time role) I’ve decided I actually can offer a fair amount to my fellow Adoptees…That said my objective here is not entirely selfless…I do get a buzz from helping others realise their right to knowledge and if my tenacity and bullish attitude helps a handful of folk find their history I will be satisfied.

So a friend and neighbour and fellow Adoptee has felt the need to find his BM more pressing since the passing of his Adoptive Mum and since meeting my adorable small person, as he attempts to call out to him from the doorstep. He asked me recently to assist in his own trip down history lane and I’ve jumped at the chance. Of course, why not…we are friends, he’s lovely and I get the need entirely, so I set to work.

A few weeks ago and without further a do, I tripped up the lane with laptop in hand and my research head on high alert.

First step was the Birth Certificate. He had a short adoption certificate but not the full document and although helpful we needed to find the original birth certificate for the relevant information on his BM ( maiden name , occupation etc) It seemed he had only had the short one for a couple of years which in itself made me a bit cross. It was his for christsakes, no one had the right to withhold it from him! This is exactly why I need to get out there and help people find their history. Grrrr…..:-/

Its fair to say this seemed an easy task but boy did the gov.org office make it hard work…given they charge good money when the documents are on record waiting to be printed off, you would think the process would be way easier. Nope. We process the order for his full birth certificate and send it off….two weeks go by before a message to say its due in the next 3 days. This follows a message to say its been refunded as the record cannot be located.

Now two things happen here..1) we both get mightily frustrated and 2) One of us thinks they don’t actually exist!

So back on to the Gov.org office (which as it happens reminds me I will be doing same in near future as Small Person needs his full Adoption Certificate in order to obtain his first passport)

It appears that someone devoid of a single brain cell has fucked up…amaze-balls right?…Confusing my friends birth name with his current name and all hell breaks loose..of course he wont exist!!!..plankton has more nouse than some of these gov.org bods I tell you…

So again we pay for fast delivery of Full Birth Certificate. Hurrah.

A week later what should land on the door mat? The full Adoption certificate (Which we already have as a short version) OK so another hissy fit on my part and we reorder yet again. All I want is the bloody first name of his Birth Mother to confirm my findings already…

So today it arrives. At last. Now I can confirm I was on the right track.

Or not.

The name is completely bloody different from my first thoughts. Again , if you refer back to my first book you will know at this point I had convinced myself to the point of obsession. I learned from that lesson that you cant be too certain. Until you know for sure and I was proved right in my self advice today.

A new name entirely…

However, a few hours with my friend and further research tonight and I can tell you I seem to have found her….fingers crossed…

So I text my neighbour the exciting news and he rang me just now..He told me he really appreciated all I was doing to help him and he sounded a bit emotional and I truly get it.

This is Huge for him, and big for me too as I invest my time willingly and love to help find answers as I know how hard life is without them. Anyone who isn’t adopted cant quite understand how we feel on this one person island of ours , akin to being set adrift on a raft without a plan.

On an island

He said something to me this afternoon, whilst my little lad happily pushed past the table and climbed up onto his knee.

It was honestly as though he felt a kindred link to this good natured , jovial man in his home who until now had been a wave away up the lane.

He turned to me and said matter of fact, without irony or edge ” You know what, we three all have something in common….we are all adopted!! ”

He’s right! My little person has no clue but we both knew that in that moment we cemented our three way friendship , we three Adoptees. Its quite a profound feeling for me to be able to realise exactly how his sense of self feels right now. He will lie awake tonight covering every possible scenario in his head…Will she like me? Am I a secret? Will she want to be found? Has she wondered about me ? etc etc

Here lies the argument of many in that perhaps she wont want to accept her past has come to bite her on the arse.

However , as we all know nothing can stop Black Sheep when she gets her teeth into something

..So, rightly or wrongly she will get found and as Earth Angel was for me, I am that essential emotional buffer for my friend as we travel this rocky road into his past together…

I know for a fact his uncertainty will grow the nearer we get to finding out if this target is the right one…but I will metaphorically hold his hand

reality

Next step: we draft a letter , send it RECORDED delivery direct to our target…and find out for sure…………

Watch this space…

Thanks for Reading..

Much Love Black Sheep xxx

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ps. If you are considering searching for a Birth relative for yourself or someone close to you please get in touch blacksheepsweetdreams@gmail.com

Two Men, One tiny , One tall

So firstly apologies for going AWOL but I really do have the best ever excuse! Our little man is full on and now hes on the move and confidently walking he is even more time consuming…in the best sense of the word but still…hes bloody hard work. I expected him to be and if his first real word isn’t NO I will be amazed!…It seems to me that although from just 10 months old he became ours , its like hes always been ours ….he runs the household and is a real spirited character…I will document our Adoption journey in due course but touching base to say hi and share a poem I was moved to write last night…

You see the thing that gives me the most pleasure is actually watching how my small person interacts so happily with the others I love in my world. Be it my wonderful supportive friends, my own siblings…and particularly his sister and big brothers who all adore him.

The bond he has developed with all my family is fabulous and even though he is unable to say a lot, my dearest Father shows his love for my little man in small but tangible ways…I am constantly thankful that life has allowed us these precious moments and I can watch these two men, one old and one young, tease each other and enjoy these times as one day they will fade away….

Time stands still when we let it…..hence this poem..I hope you like it….

Time

GRAND-DAD

A kick of a ball…to a much smaller foot. A giggle and a smile and a sideways look. One small gesture of love from a Grand-dad .

The younger learning early not to feel sad.

For his Grand-dad was once a keen player but now he is ill and fate dealt a card that was to steal his skill.

This youngster will never know the joy my dad earned from a ball. He told me that as a boy a kick about on his road was a treat.

I listened to his tales of footy fun after school ..and I couldn’t help but wonder how life could be so cruel

Here’s a spouse, a daddy and Grandad , whose dedicated life to his family , never sad
Worked all of his life to provide for his kin, and hoped for retirement of travel, fun and relaxin’

Instead he’s endured illness , hardship and pain..and you know I’ve never once heard him complain

Two faces gazed at each other today…one young with wide eyes pouring love on the other… the other enduring and wise with dignity , a smile of amusement at the little face before him.

I wanted to cry….to scream how unfair it is that this man will never kick a ball for real to the small person so desperate to play with him

How cruel Mother Nature is to inflict disease on one so kind

But instead I am grateful my little man gets to meet this great man at all. To know him is to love him and he clearly does. I know forever he will be in my baby boys heart as someone he could respect, and in more ways than one, look up to.

My dad is my hero and he will be that to my brave little boy .

That is a promise ❤️

Thanks for reading, much love

Black Sheep xx

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Awarded Best Adoptee Blogs of 2017!!

Yay!! Well hard work pays off!! We have been selected as one of The Best Adoptee Blogs of the Year

The Best Adoptee Blogs of the Year
Healthline

Pretty happy about this given I just write from the heart…if it helps people its a huge bonus. Thanks to all who are patient with me as I know I am erratic but as you can imagine hands are pretty full with a small person keeping me busy…updates on Little Man soon I promise but for today I am just gonna brag!! Ha! 🙂

Only issue I have is they say I am African American, which I am not but hey coffee is coffee to me!

Thanks for following me peeps

Much Love , I’m off for a cuppa

Black Sheep

Drinking Tea

 

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