“Adoption Healing” by Joe Soll

What Natural Parents Do Not Wish to Hear

Thank you for giving me up.
You did the right thing.
I forgive you for giving me up.
Forget about it (your baby) and get on with your life.
Leave well enough alone; she/he has another family now.
But you are not REALLY his/her mother.
You did the right thing.
You made the choice, so you have to live with it
You will destroy/disrupt her/his life if you make contact.
You would have been unable to provide for your child
It was better for “the” baby to have two parents
Let sleeping dogs lie
But you have had other children and you should be happy now.
Why don’t you just let it go?
Your child was better off.
It all turned out all right.
If she needs you, she/he will come searching for you. You shouldn’t search!
You made the decision and you can’t change your mind
That was a long time ago. What is the matter with you?
S/he ‘ s turned out to be a nice person, so you should be grateful.
S/he’s had a good home.
Concentrate on your immediate family
What about her REAL parents?
S/he has a mother.
Don’t be selfish
People shouldn’t be allowed to look.
You’ve made your bed now you can lie in it.
You’ve really become obsessed with this.
Why now, after all these years?
You lost your rights a long time ago.
Respect “their” privacy

From “Adoption Healing” by Joe Soll


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